Mission Impossible
by iDreamer
Summary: Naruto Uzumaki, a young and frugal man, is tired of his godfather setting up bad dates for him. One day, he meets Sakura and thinks she's the one. Through many crazy schemes, he will try to win her heart with his absurd antics. Will it ever pay off? AU
1. The Index Card Savior

Chapter One: The Index Card Savior

"What a retarded drama!" Naruto yelled, chucking his remote control at the television screen.

Luckily for the television, Naruto had missed completely in his own furious state of mind. The beige flowers on the wallpaper, however, had unfortunately suffered the cataclysmic blow.

"This would never happen in real life!" he continued ranting. "I spend three months straight watching this TV series, only to find that this woman can't even take a little pressure? I mean, when you get caught cheating, and your boyfriend asks what you were doing, you don't go, 'Uhh…well…you see…um…'"

"Unbelievable," Naruto grunted as he walked towards his bedroom to get changed, disregarding the television that was still blaring the theme song at the end of the episode.

Inside his messy bedroom, the blond searched for some clean clothes to go to work in. The task proved quite difficult with what was supposed to be inside his closet, scattered across the entire bedroom floor in disarray.

"Stupid drama made me get up at six in the morning just to watch a pointless ending…" Naruto continued to rage, still in the orange jumpsuit he slept in, as he turned his whole collection of crumpled clothing upside down.

" 'No! It's not what you think! It's um…' How dense does she think he is? I mean I know he's a dropout and all, but…ISN'T THERE A SINGLE CLEAN SHIRT IN THIS PILE?!" Naruto exploded amid his mockery.

"Ah, here's one…"

He quickly unclothed himself and slapped on a pair of dark grey slacks and a crisp white shirt. He checked his appearance in his long mirror, with a full-body view.

"Perfect…" he mumbled as he buttoned one of his last buttons.

He turned around to check his back, when he suddenly realized, "Wha-"

The back of his shirt might as well have been his grandpa's forehead. The mass of wrinkles was appalling, but that's what you get when you use your floor as your closet.

He took a brief moment to consider whether or not he should get out the old ironing board. He stared at the clock that seemed to tick even faster than before.

"Seven o'clock…the commute will take at least half an hour…do I have any clients to see today…?" Naruto tried to recall his weekly schedule.

"Today is Thursday…Thursday Thursday Thursday…" he closed his eyes and rubbed his left eyebrow in an attempt to avert the migraine he knew was inevitable.

"Sakura Haruno!" He yelled suddenly, recalling the name of a client he was supposed to meet at 7:20.

Knowing he couldn't beat the clock, he figured he at least had to come to the appointment with clean clothes, late or not. He quickly rammed open the doors to his closet and pulled out the iron and ironing board – the only two things he kept in his closet. Once everything was plugged in, he almost ripped his shirt off, dislodged the victim onto the flat surface, and switched the device of torture to maximum heat.

All seemed under control until…

"SHOOT!"

Naruto immediately unplugged the iron and fingered the dark burned spot on the breast pocket of his shirt. Why did life have to be so difficult?

In his head, he quickly considered all his other options…

New shirt? No…this was the only one that didn't smell like instant noodles and sour milk…

Buy a new shirt on the way? No…Naruto was broke and his next paycheck didn't come until the end of the month – three more weeks away.

Ditch the appointment? No! Naruto was sick of his godfather's dating arrangements for him, and needed to try to find a girlfriend on his own. This could be his only chance for a while…

Desperate for a solution, he looked over at his desk and saw two things that could benefit him – index cards and tape. It was a stretch, but maybe no one would notice. He ran over to the desk, grabbed an index card, ripped it to the approximate size of the burn mark, and patched it onto the breast pocket of his shirt with some tape – the blank white side of the card visible.

He quickly checked himself once again in his mirror. He looked absolutely outlandish. But good enough, that from a quick glance, no one would notice that there was an index card taped to his shirt.

"Good," he said, and quickly ran to grab his briefcase by the front door of his apartment.

Before leaving, he quickly yelled to his godfather like he did every morning, "Jiraiya! I'm leaving now!"

He heard the usual muffled, sleepy sound in response come from behind the door of the guest bedroom.

Slamming the door shut, Naruto dashed down three flights of stairs in an attempt to reach his bus stop before his only means of transportation left.

Many eyes were drawn to him as he frantically ran down the busy street in sloppy business clothes – his shirt not even tucked in. He was quite a spectacle. Watching him flop down the street was like watching a frazzled duck, recklessly trying to find its way through the city.

Finally, the destination was in sight. And perfect timing too, since the bus was just pulling up the curb to pick up its passengers. A line of commuters was just starting to board the vehicle, when Naruto stepped in the back of the queue.

Naruto's panting proved to be quite resonant. The young lady just in front of him in line turned around to stare at him for a while, taking note of his shaggy appearance. In response, he couldn't think of anything to do but stare back when he caught sight of her pink hair. She instantly knew what he was staring at and felt self-conscious. Turning around, she boarded the bus in a hurry.

It was not until later that Naruto would realize how much he would crave that bubblegum atop her head.


	2. Dates and Suckers

Chapter 2: Dates and Suckers

Since Naruto had made it to the bus stop in time, he was filled with relief and all seemed to be going as planned. He had an entire strategy all mapped out in his head: first, he would go to his office and find Sakura Haruno waiting there. Then, he would apologize for his slight tardiness, and ask to make it up to her by taking her out to dinner. Whatever followed after that would be taken care of by his charm and good looks.

As he mulled over how perfect the day would play out, Naruto grinned impishly at how handsomely ingenious he was.

_No more dates set up by Jiraiya…_was the first of many reveries that mounted his adrenaline. As Naruto continued to daydream about finally snatching a girlfriend, he started to realize how much embarrassment and shame not having one had caused him all these years. Now, he wouldn't have to make up stories on the spot in front of his friends as to why he was still single. Now, he wouldn't have to watch cheesy romance dramas and work overtime just to forget that he had nothing to do on a Friday night. Now…he could _live._

Just as the blond anticipated that nothing could splinter his brimming exuberance, he felt his heart drop with his first steps on the bus. He was last to board, and every single seat was taken – except for one.

And of course, it just _had_ to be the one next to the girl with the bubblegum hair. The one that had shot him down with a simple, yet ridiculing stare. And to make matters worse, he had thrown one of his own contemptuous eyeballs back. Naruto knew, then and there, that this commute could not possibly end without some episode of awkward tenseness.

Walking over to the seat where she sat, he took in her appearance as she was engrossed in a thick paperback novel.

_Must be smart…_he couldn't help but conclude.

Feeling slightly intimidated, he knew that in order to not get flattened by her criticisms, he would have to act at least just as smart.

Inhaling a block of oxygen, he puffed his chest out and asked in his deepest voice possible, "Excuse me, ma'am, is anyone sitting here?"

The pink-haired girl saved the current spot in her book with a careful finger. When she tilted her head up to look at Naruto, all he could observe was the intensity of her laser-like eyes piercing straight through his, and her brow that was furrowed in either puzzlement or exasperation. She pointedly glanced down at the empty seat, and simply stared back at him.

After a lengthy three second pause, she said in a voice like silk, "Of course not."

Naruto nodded emptily, and all confidence fleeted from his eyes. In an attempt to cancel the stupidity she made him feel, he cleared his throat loudly while sitting down. It was as if the small commotion could distract him from his own self-conscious thoughts.

Although she had only said three words to him, he knew the implied meaning of her bothered inflection: _are you blind? The seat is empty!_

Naruto took a glimpse at the silver watch on his wrist, a lavish gift from his godfather that he never left his apartment without. For some odd reason, the delicate leaf engraved just below the circular frame reminded him of his hometown in Japan.

_7:18…I should probably call Sakura to tell her that I'll be a little late…girls dig a guy who can communicate…_

Naruto took out his brick of a cell phone and eventually found the client contact information sheet buried within the jumble of papers in his briefcase. He had only just begun dialing the first few numbers when he swore he felt eyes from the side staring at him so intently, he thought he'd need another index card to patch up the hole that it would burn into his shirt sleeve.

With a swift twirl of the head, he found that the prime suspect was still deeply absorbed in her work of fiction.

Uneasily returning his attention back to the phone in his hand, Naruto concluded that he was just letting her previous scorn get to his head. However, faster than anyone could take notice of, he gave her one final fleeting look – just to be safe.

_Well, the last thing I need is this crazy lady criticizing my outdated technology and tardy habits._

He shuddered as he imagined a multitude of unwanted, but possible reactions.

_How irresponsible it is to leave a client waiting!_

_What a slob!_

_I didn't even know bricks still existed!_

_Look at me – I'm so smart because I read books on my commute._

Naruto filled his head with disgust for the woman as he fashioned his own hypothetical voice for her. He decided that he could not afford to chance anything.

A bit too abruptly, He stood up and mumbled, "Excuse me for a second."

She didn't even give him a second thought.

He scurried up to the front of the bus, trying to keep his balance as they went over a speed bump. Upon reaching a location that was just out of hearing distance from the pink-haired woman, he dialed his client's number again, and apprehensively put the brick to his ear.

Meanwhile, the pink-haired girl was deep into the intriguing plot of her book. She was reaching the suspenseful climax, biting her bottom lip harder and harder as she neared the end of the chapter. Tension was escalating at an alarming rate, while the grip on her book tightened with each passing second. Right when she was about to discover who killed the main character's father…

_BZZZZZTTT!_

She jumped a little in her seat, startled by the vibration her cell phone made. She took the phone out of her pocket and checked the screen.

"Unknown caller…" she noted softly to herself.

She inhaled a deep breath, quickly realizing how rigid she had become, and got ready to put on her higher-pitched "phone voice."

She pressed the answer button and said with a candy-coated pitch, "Hello?"

Upon hearing Sakura's amiable inflection, Naruto's face lit up.

_She must be hot_, Naruto thought excitedly with a grin.

To give a good first impression that would eventually help him earn a date with her, he tried to sound as cool and masculine as possible.

"Is this Sakura?"

"Yes."

"Hello Sakura, this is Naruto – Naruto Uzumaki."

"Hello."

"You scheduled to meet with me in a few minutes, correct?"

"Oh yes, I'm terribly sorry. I'm running a bit later than I anticipated. I'm actually still on my way there. Have you been waiting for me all morning?"

Naruto did some quick thinking; _this is my chance to look good in front of her._ The blond thanked the heavens for making his morning even more perfect than he had predicted.

_New plan. Get to my office before Sakura. Impress her. Ask to meet up again sometime to discuss business in a more casual setting…the coffee bar down the street will do…_

Naruto tried to sound convincingly realistic, but still impressive, as he fibbed, "Oh it's nothing. I go to the office early every morning. I just like to keep on top of things. Punctuality is one of the first things my mother taught me. Take your time; I'll be here for a while anyway."

Sakura was no dim-wit. She knew overkill when she heard it, and it made her suspicious. She had been in many relationships before and knew manipulative nature by heart.

But there was just something about making guys feel like they're so close, and yet she never liked them at all that amused her. A cruel sick joke, as most might say. But Sakura would argue: that's what life is. Naruto Uzumaki was no exception.

"Sounds wonderful. I'll see you soon then." Sakura said cheerily.

"Great. See you."

"Bye."

"Bye."

After hanging up, they were both left grinning.

Naruto, believing he had scored a date. Sakura, believing she had scored a sucker.


	3. Fishnet Leggings

Chapter 3: Fishnet Leggings

Briefcase in hand, standing next to the door, anxiously willing the bus to run a few red lights was Naruto Uzumaki. The second he had gotten off the phone with Sakura Haruno, he had gone back to his seat, collected his briefcase, and waited by where he was now standing. He had not even acknowledged Miss Bubblegum on his way.

The pink-haired girl, however, could not have cared less. In her mind, she was already scheming how she would toy with Mr. Uzumaki.

_By the way he tried to act all composed on the phone, he must be desperate…but I wonder __**how**__ desperate…_Sakura snickered at the thought of how far she could push his limits.

The young lady had been greatly pursued by many, but she had found out in the past, through many trials and heartaches, how tough it was to find true love when you were wealthy. She couldn't even count the number of dates that were ruined by what started out as attempted conversation starters, ending up as a long deep interviewing of her father's monthly salary.

_He'll be no different_…she thought bitterly to herself.

As the tires of the bus started to screech to a stop, Naruto got ready to bolt, gripping the handle of his briefcase in apprehension. He looked at his digital watch…_If I can make it up to my office in less than two minutes, I should be able to get there and compose myself before Sakura arrives._

The instant the doors were heaved open, the blond hair of the boy turned into a lightning bolt, dashing through the crowded sidewalks on the way to his office.

From an aerial view of the city, all one could see was a vast sea of business people, and a disheveled young man sprinting at top speed, yelling, "OUT OF MY WAY! COMING THROUGH!"

It almost made you wonder where the other racers were.

As Naruto made his way to his office in a hurry, his unexpected client was still on the bus taking her time to get up. She only stood up for a second before thinking to herself, _well he did say "take your time"…_

It didn't take her long to reconsider and sit back down in her seat with a smirk.

_Well, I __**have**_ _been meaning to go to that end of summer sale at the outlet down the street…and I'm sure he'd be grateful to see a client with a fresh-off-the-hanger outfit…_

Once certain that no other passengers intended to get off, the bus driver flicked the switch that heaved the doors closed, and drove on.

It was set. Sakura Haruno would be late to her appointment for the greater benefit of Naruto Uzumaki.

_BAM! _The doors of the grand modeling agency were harshly flung open. The receptionist's eyes quickly shifted their gaze to the disruption in serenity, and weren't at all surprised with what she saw.

"Naruto Uzumaki…" she sighed, "why must we do this every morning…"

Naruto panted and tried to make a dash for the elevator. About halfway there, he froze in his tracks to a "not so fast!" The boy slowly turned his head almost a hundred eighty degrees to face the familiar visage of a young woman with a cleanly cut short bob. Her face was one he encountered every day almost starting the day he was hired, but never on a good note. Today especially, her countenance radiated utter menace.

The Uzuamki didn't dare say a word, fearing to further provoke the lioness within. If looks could kill, Naruto would have been buried yesterday. And the silence did nothing to better the circumstance.

It reached the point where the silence in the main lobby was so prominent, that it actually rung in his ears like a cymbal. At this point, Naruto had to break it. He would rather have her scream at him with mindless words than attentively scanning his every movement.

"Sh-Shizune…" he softly started.

"Tsunade." The receptionist commanded him crisply. They had a mutual understanding of what she had meant by that one word. It was one Naruto heard often as a form of penalty.

"But Shizune, I'm la-"

"Now!"

A few heads turned in the waiting area of the luxurious, hotel-like reception area. To avoid causing a scene, Naruto impishly continued to walk toward the elevator, more than slightly defeated. It wasn't really the thought of his boss' wrath that frightened him – he had already adapted to her style of earsplitting threats. He knew she would never really fire him because he actually had great perspective in the industry. What he was _really _fretting over was actually the thought of walking into his office and Sakura Haruno already being there.

_What am I going to say? _Naruto thought nervously as he listened to the supposedly soothing elevator jingles. _I can say that I was just going to the bathroom…or is that unappealing? Or maybe I can grab a cup of coffee on my way there and say I was taking a break…or does that make me seem lazy? __**Maybe**__ I can-_

"NARUTO!" a shrill voice that followed the _ding_ of the elevator door opening broke his brilliant brainstorming session.

His spine snapped straight and his ocean blue eyes locked into the gaze of the almighty Tsunade. She gave a quick tug on his arm, practically causing him to soar out of the elevator.

_That's funny…she usually waits for me in her office…__**then**__ yells…_Naruto pondered for only a short period of time before he found his boss' face only mere inches away from his own. Her eyes read peril. He took a quick gulp to settle his rattled nerves.

"Listen to me," her voice was curt as she put her authoritative hands on his shoulders. He didn't dare move. "Today is the turning point for our company. Haruno is the biggest name in the fashion industry. It is _imperative_ that you start off on a good note with your client and set a good foundation for the relation of our companies. If anyone can do that, it's you. But if you blow this consultation…" she paused and searched his eyes for emotion, in which she found none yet, "you will be fired in a heartbeat. I won't care that Jiraiya is my colleague. I won't care that you're a fashion prodigy. Do you hear me?"

The trepidation that she had been previously searching for in Naruto's eyes was now up front and present. He nodded slowly and fearfully. Tsunade gripped the shoulders of her prized employee once more, nodded tersely, and strutted flawlessly to her office, high heels clicking in perfect rhythm.

Naruto walked straight to his cubicle, silent in apprehension the whole way.

Once in his fancy, cushy office chair behind his desk, he had some time to mull over his plan of attack and chase away the butterflies in his gut. He spun many circles, round and around in his chair, tapping a pen to his mouth as if it would bring him good fortune.

"I can't come off too strong and ask her on a date on the first encounter…or else she might not like it and jeopardize our company…but if I don't flirt, she won't be into me…and first impressions are everything…" Naruto sighed and scratched his head, "where is she anyway?"

He looked at the clock on his desk, "She wasn't kidding about being late…it's been almost an hour…"

Naruto continued to swivel around in his chair as he waited patiently. He grinned to himself thinking, _well it'll be worth it when Jiraiya finally stops intervening with my love life…_

However, many more seconds began to pass, then minutes, then hours, then…

_Bzzzzzt! _Shocked by the sudden interruption in his nap, Naruto's eyes slowly opened and searched for the intercom on his desk.

He gave a long and agonized yawn before pushing the button that would allow him to hear what news Shizune had for him.

"Yes?" Naruto said drowsily.

"Naruto, Sakura Haruno just checked in. She should be walking into your office anytime now."

"Sakura…" Naruto's mind was blank for a second before he jumped out of his chair and remembered who he had been waiting for all morning, "SAKURA HARUNO!"

He released his finger from the button and felt his mouth frantically. He knew he always drooled in his sleep, and low and behold, he felt a thin crust of dried saliva below his lips. He cursed and dashed straight for his office door, pleading the heavens that he would make it to the bathroom to gussy up before his meeting.

Apparently the angels had taken a nap too, because right as he frantically swung open the door, he was face to face with none other than Miss Bubblegum.

Both were dumbfounded at the sight of one another. Both had their feet glued, and neither dared to move a muscle.

Unlike before, Naruto was not disgusted by this woman's arrogance and judgmental eyes. In fact, the large emerald gems had quite the opposite effect. Last time, all Naruto remembered of this woman was her fanatical bubblegum colored hair.

This time, there were only two words in his mind.

Fishnet leggings.


End file.
